Soap is not a condiment
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
