420 ftw
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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