I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
