careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
