it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
