Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Green mimosas i think yes
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
