She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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