Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
