Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
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