I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
