So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
