I wish my penis had an off switch
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
