im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
