i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
