I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
