Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
