dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
operation have a gay friend backfired
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
