So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
