We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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