I think I just saw someone hide a body.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
