Christians are straight up FREAKS
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
