so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
