false alarm. still invincible.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
