The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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