some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
