Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
