do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
