I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
