thus making me awesome and them whores
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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