The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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