I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
