so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
