Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
