I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
