I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
