how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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