I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
