I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
