Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
