Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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