Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
