just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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