Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
