Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
