Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am spending my child support on dildos
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
