i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
