In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
