Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
