someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
