My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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