is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
