Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
