literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Don't EVER smell your tampon
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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