um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
